september twenty eight
todays mood tracker
currently listening
It´s September 28th. I´m sitting outside in a park with my laptop because the sun is shining and I´m happy to be outside.
I came down with a throat infection last week which made me sleep for days and then indulge in trash TV on my laptop and way too many reels for days. Today I feel better. Not perfectly well, but so well that laying in a park instead of my bed is what my afternoon looks like.
I am thinking about summer. About how one summer can slip away so quickly. Maybe because it was the first summer without my grandparents, and I like to think they sent us all these sunny days from wherever they are now. I´d rather drown in rain drinking tea in their cozy kitchen but that´s that.
Maybe because it´s the first summer after years with him. I found a list we made at the end of last summer, of things we would´ve done if that summer lasted longer. “We will do it next year” we said. “Next year” was those past months that just slipped away.
We wanted to go camping again and go to the outdoor cinema many times. Eat at our favorite Turkish breakfast place more often, make it a little tradition to go at least once a month. Go on a daytrip to the coast of northern Germany and swim in the sea.
I miss everyone who was still here last year at this time. And I feel lethargic. Probably because I just spent a week in bed and I´m way too much in my head, missing everyone and everything.
Yesterday, I finally stripped off all my bed sheets and shoved everything into the washing machine, including the clothes I´ve been wearing for almost a week. I watched them rumble around in the machine, a very meditative thing to do. And I took a shower, washed my hair and my body and I felt like a new person.
Maybe this feels like a fresh start. I might be dramatic, but Saturday was the full moon, and I started my period and everything felt new yesterday.
Today, I don´t feel motivated or craving a fresh start. Today, I feel lazy and exactly like someone who spent a week rotting in bed. It´s okay. I´ll give my body more rest today, maybe go for a little walk on my way home. Tomorrow I´ll take care of the mess in my room and get groceries and start walking more.
AND on Wednesday I´ll go to the movies and I´m SO excited. The day has finally come, and the documentary about Linkin Parks comeback will be released. I´ve been so ecstatic ever since this was announced, and it always felt ages away. Wednesday is the day. I´m hoping for a movie poster, fingers crossed for that, it always takes a little luck and talking to the right person at the right moment at the cinema. We´ll see. Either way, I´m so excited. Seeing Emily, my longtime crush on a big movie screen will be great. Also, the movie was directed by Joe Hahn, one of the band members so I think this will feel even more intimate and special.
✶ Don´t tell anyone, but I´m going with my ex to see that movie.
Anyway, I hope you´re doing alright. Take care, and I´ll talk to you soon.