august twenty

todays mood tracker

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12:14 am, back in my room

I´m back home now. It´s a little after midnight, and I don´t feel like sleeping yet. So I sit in front of my laptop and type some words.

We had a lovely afternoon, hung out in the park, someone played the Ukulele, we played cards and listened to Indian music, ate lots of snacks and ended up going to a bar with live music. I was quite nervous about going because I didn´t know anyone except for Balpreet, and have been quite antisocial these past weeks, hanging out mostly by myself as a result of my recent breakup. Actually, it´s been over four months, but it still feels recent in a way.

When everyone was giving their gifts, I suddenly felt a bit insecure - I watched him unpack way more expensive presents and felt stupid for my random gift. In what world are toothpaste, green chili and a samosa with a birthday candle a great gift? What was I thinking? But I also knew how personal it was, every item intentionally chosen. We bonded over said toothpaste when I met him for the first time, plus it´s impossible to buy in Germany, so we both know the actual worth of this. He loves green chili, we used to hang out and cook together (he was cooking Indian food, and I was hanging out) so this was a fun add-on. And a Samosa instead of a birthday cake felt quite on brand.

I felt stupid about it for a moment, so seeing everyone laugh and genuinely love the gift felt really good.

Now I´ll watch some YouTube videos and then brush my teeth with said toothpaste before going to bed soon. Tomorrow, I have a day off. A whole day to work on my personal freelance projects which I´m looking forward to. Also, since talking about potatoes earlier, another form I like to eat potatoes in is chips. I know that doesn´t count, but I had to think about it during the celebration, when I was eating lots of chips. Chips are great. Anyway, I filmed some clips with my camcorder, I´ll show you the video once I finish editing it.