october favorites

This month has been something. To say it flew by would be starting this piece of writing the way I start every.

October was orange, the way it is every year. Orange leaves, orange pumpkins, orange oranges. I like the color orange, but only in october.

As always, I´m sitting in my library writing this. It´s is a grey and windy day, I took off my shoes trying to get cozy but my feet are getting a little cold on the tiles.

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I started my period yesterday but actually feel quite well which is a pleasant surprise. The week before, I had an infection in my mouth so everything I ate was burning my mouth away, plus I came down with a cold. My immune system was so good all these years but now it´s not. My theory is that´s because I don´t get cuddled anymore and I´m lacking happy hormones from skin-to-skin contact. Actually, my immune system was pretty shitty before the relationship, so I might be onto something. It´s been six months since the breakup. I´m slowly healing.

This month I did the things I always do: listen to lots of music, read, dance the nights away in my favorite club, write my silly little essays, journal out my feelings so I don´t go insane, watch movies and go to work and come home again.

So after missing writing my about favorites in September, I´m happy to be back and better, so here are all the things I loved in October.

Activity: Pole Dance

First things first: I finally went to try Pole Dance!! I KNOW I KNOW, this is huge, I´ve been writing about wanting to go for as long as this blog exists. I kept putting it off, I felt intimidated and not ready. In the end, it isn´t even that deep, I do new things all the time but something in me dreaded going to Pole Dance.

Maybe because I liked the idea of Pole Dancing, and as long as I don´t go I can sustain that picture of myself. And when I go, I could end up not liking it, which obviously isn´t the end of the world.

Anyway, I finally went, and I enjoyed it. I don´t think I was necessarily talented or immediately good at it, but it´s okay. The next day, every single part of my body hurt. I wanted to go again at the end of the week, but ended up catching a cold so I didn´t. But I will go again. And one day, I might actually be good at it. But that may take a while, because I need to build my muscle strength first.

I´m so proud of myself for trying. I really am.

Activity: Making my own radio station

Another new favorite activity. I fucking started a radio which is so fun, I can yap about music and play all my favorite songs even though they don´t fit together. Today I checked my analytics for the very first time ever, and someone actually listened to the first episode. To be honest, I didn´t think anyone would, so this is very exciting.

I love sitting in my room at night, picking out songs and curating them into an order that makes no fucking sense, and in a way, just makes perfect sense. It´s my new hobby and I wanna make an episode once a month I think.

Book: More – Gillian Anderson

Okay, I knew this book would end up in my favorites post the moment the release date got announced. It came out in early September, but it took me a while to find time to hit up my local bookstore, so it wasn´t until October I actually started reading. Maja and I both loved the first part and wanted to read the second one together to discuss everything in depth.

To summarize, more is the sequel of Gillian Anderson´s book want, which is one of my favorite books of all time. It is a collection of anonymous sexual fantasies from women all around the world, of all ages, sexual orientations, religions, etc.

To read about women with similar experiences and fantasies was very healing for me, so I was very excited about the sequel, which follows the same idea of collecting anonymous letters.

To be honest, I prefer the first part, but I´m so happy she made another one.

Maja and I talked about whether we would submit our own fantasies if there were another part. She said she would, however I´m not quite sure if I would. Not because I´m ashamed, I´m far past that, but because I think writing out my fantasies on paper would take the magic away. I think I prefer having them in my head, kept safe from the outside world. Some I shared with Maja, some I shared with my ex when we were still dating, but some are just fully mine, and I´m happy with that. Not everything needs to be shared, not with my best friend, not with my partner (not that I have one) and I like it that way.

Album: London Calling – The Clash

A classic. London Calling was the record that was on repeat this month, it´s one of my favorite records ever. I know I say that a lot.

I just love reconnecting with albums I love and obsess all over again. I went down a little The Clash rabbit hole where I watched a documentary on YouTube, as well as some live concerts playing in the background while I was doing laundry. My favorite song used to be Guns of Brixton, I still love it but if you´d ask me for my favorite of that album now, it would be Hateful. Guns of Brixton is still great.

Pumpkins

Pumpkins. I don´t think I should add anything more because once I do, I won´t stop. My pumpkin obsession has been discussed here already, so I´ll leave it at that. Still wanted to mention my favorite orange creatures in my favorites post because I would feel bad for them otherwise.

Watching Sitcoms

I have this shitty habit that when I get home from work and I´m tired and don´t want to do anything, I doomscroll because it seems to be the only option. I don´t want to read, journal or do anything else that requires me to use my brain.

This month, I started watching a sitcom every time I felt like doomscrolling, which left me overall feeling better mentally. I still just lay there and watch something, but I don’t get bombarded with a shitload of short form content. I still doomscroll every now and then, but not as much as before which has been good for my mental health.

I currently watch Friends, it´s my comfort show and I´ve seen it one hundred times already, but it doesn´t matter. Tough I think I need to find another sitcom because Rachel and Ross are starting to piss me off again. I might rewatch Two and a half Men. Actually, I never even finished it.

My sister gave me the password to her Netflix so I could stream Friends, but I think for my next sitcom I would go back to my roots and to the library to pick up something to watch. Actually, I AM in the library right now as I´m writing this, so I might have a look around before I leave.

Update: I didn´t, I totally forgot when I left because I really had to pee.

Movie: Unshatter – Linkin Park

I was SOOO excited about this, I love Linkin Park, I love Emily and I love music films.

And it was great, even though I feel like very little information was new to me, but that´s probably on me because I´ve been obsessively watching interviews and every single vlog they put out.

It was a mix of behind the scenes, documenting the process of their comeback as a band, along with lots of live footage from one concert in Sao Paulo. I had goosebumps during the concert parts, something about seeing this on a big screen and with movie theater speakers just felt like I was right there in the crowd. I mean, I was, not in Sao Paulo, but in Berlin, Düsseldorf, Mumbai and Munich. Actually, writing this now I am getting a little emotional, because that tour, which lasted two years, is over now. It´s been over for a few months but it still makes me a bit melancholic.

Also, I scored an original movie poster, it´s always a game of chance, and I got lucky this time. I asked before the screening if there would be any spare movie posters, and they only had three, two of them hanging in the entrance hall of my cinema, and one spare one which they gave to me. Lucky me. The day before I hoped for one.

Other things I loved online

The music video and the song, I love everything about it.

A lil video essay about the Indie Sleaze Movement which I enjoyed watching.

Rewatched the Coachella Vlog because I felt like it and loved the energy, such a fun 28 minutes and 38 seconds.

How to tell if a piece of writing is AI, with your own human brain by Amy Colleen

I´ve been starting to get tired of Substack because a lot seems to be AI written these days, however I still find my way back to Substack every now and then.

Also, here are a few things I saved on my Pinterest boards in October: