Today is October thirty-one, not only Halloween but also the first day of my three weeks off work. Because I´m a lazy procrastinator (had to google to make sure this word exists) I fucked up booking flights to Mumbai, so I have to live with the consequences: staying home.
But staying home doesn´t mean I won´t have a blast, so I´ll use this piece of writing to document all the fun things I´ll do for the next three weeks. Feel free to come back here from time to time for updates.
I´m so excited. So much time for all my favorite things. I feel the way I used to feel the very first day of summer break, six weeks ahead of me like a blank canvas waiting to be filled with activities. Now it´s only three but still feels like an eternity.
Saturday, October thirty-one
Went to the library in the morning, which hits different when you know you actually have time to read the books you picked out. Afterwards, a Lady Gaga-themed workout class, so fun. In the evening I went to volunteer at the homeless shelter for the first time, something I´ve been wanting to start doing for a while but didn´t due to a lack of time. Danced the night away in my favorite club, the perfect day.
Sunday, November first
Slept way too long and woke up to a blue sky and the sun. Went to one of my favorite flea markets in the afternoon, looked through stacks of CDs but didn´t buy anything. Walked around for a bit and ended up watching trains go by on one of my favorite bridges.
Monday, November second
On the train across the country to go to my hometown. It´s peaceful and I made pasta salad at home that I´ll eat soon. On my way to the train station I found a free copy of the October issue of Vogue lying on a subway seat. I haven´t read Vogue since my teenage years, but it was free, and it´s a good read for the train ride. Maybe I´ll do a collage with all the photos because it feels more like an advertisement catalogue than a fashion magazine. Just wrote an essay about the algorithm. I´m looking forward to seeing my Mum soon.
Tuesday, November third
Hung out with my sister and we laughed so much, I haven´t laughed this much in a long time. Mum and I made gnocchi for dinner because I watched a reel where someone made homemade gnocchi and it looked so easy, so I convinced her it would be fun. Turns out in real life it wasn´t as simple as it looked in that Instagram Reel, the whole kitchen was a mess but we still had a good time so that´s a win.
Wednesday, November fourth
Invited my Dad and sister for dinner. The four of us rarely get together as a family anymore, only if I try to get all of us together. So I made Lasagna, and when all of us were sitting at the dining table together, chatting about our day, for a little moment it felt like normality. Afterwards, my sister and I went insane the way siblings do, we kept trying to outdo the other with jokes so we were just randomly yelling words in a high-pitched voice laughing so much I peed my pants a little. Lasagna looks slightly messy but tastes so good. I really think this is the time to pat myself on the back because I make really, really good vegan lasagna.
Thursday, November fifth
Mum was gone all day spending the day at her partners place, so I was home alone and did the things I´m not supposed to do: eating on the couch and showering way too long. Plus, I did my favorite activity of all time, blast music on full volume and singing along pretending to be on stage performing a sold out show in Madison Square Garden. This is something I can´t do in Berlin because I live in an apartment with neighbors and have flatmates, so this is a being at home in my hometown activity only. Today, I “perfected” my performance to System of a Down´s Sad Statue. Once again I´m grieving the fact that my singing voice sucks so badly. I think I´d be great on stage if I could sing. And I made this perfectly creamy vegan Mac and Cheese.
Friday, November six
My dad and I went out for sushi and to the theater afterwards. My hometown has a rather renowned theater. We saw a play about David Bowie and his books, it was a mix of music and literature which I very much enjoyed. I think I´d like to go to the theater more often, I don’t think I’ve ever been to the theater in my life. At least not in my adult life. It´s a funny coincidence because I picked up a book about Bowie and his life in the library that I´m currently reading, and when I arrived in my hometown, and took the bus from the train station to my home, I passed by the theater and saw the advertisement for the Bowie play. Everything feels aligned. Today was such a good day.
Saturday, November seven
I really really really wanted to go clubbing tonight. Get all my hometown friends together to go out, just like back in the day, when we were sixteen and dancing our nights away in the club. Honestly, I was really excited for this, I was already feeling so nostalgic for a fun night out. But in the end, no one wanted to go which makes me kinda sad. I texted everyone from my hometown friends that I´m still in touch with over the past week trying to make plans for tonight, and everyone is busy. Busy with adult shit, like babysitting their nephews and nieces, being burnt out from a full week of work, being too old. We´re twenty six years old, we´re not too old.
I wonder if that would be my life too if I never moved away. Would I be engaged, planning my wedding and being expected to birth a child soon? Would I be working a job I hate, burned out from working way too much? I´m grieving the way our friendships were back in the day. Today, everyone is always fucking busy. Everyone is so grown up. I don´t feel grown up, I still can´t drive a fucking car.