october third

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todays mood tracker (do you wanna share yours?)

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Today is October 3rd. Which is the day Regina George asked Aaron what day it was, to which he replied with “October 3rd”, but it´s also a public holiday in Germany.

I had plans, which I found out got cancelled over breakfast in the morning. To be honest, I was annoyed, even a bit mad and it took me almost two hours to get out of my negative mindset. I was laying down on the couch watching YouTube videos thinking this is what my day is gonna look like since I had no plans.

Then, out of nowhere, this idea hit me: I can just make new plans (genius, I know!!!)

It´s been long since I had a whole day just to myself, no responsibilities, nothing to do, which suddenly felt exciting.

I packed my bag with all the essentials I would need to spend a completely unplanned day in the city:

-            the book I´m currently reading (Blue Sisters by Coco Mellors, picked it up from the library yesterday)

-            my mp3 player

-            water bottle

-            some snacks (granola bar and banana)

-            my journal

-            sunglasses

-            little blanket to sit on

And most importantly, I left my phone at home. I do this from time to time, and even though I always hesitate, it turns out to be a great decision every single time.

I started heading towards a neighboring district that I like to walk around. The weather was absolutely gorgeous, the most beautiful, sunny fall day - leaves turning yellow, orange and red bathed in golden sunlight so Berlin actually looked pretty today.

I passed a flyer advertising a rock music-themed flea market for the upcoming Sunday, which seemed worth checking out (maybe I’ll find a few new CDs). Then I noticed that one of my favorite restaurants had closed. (Honestly, why does this keep happening?)

After a while of walking and admiring pretty buildings, I passed by a pasta restaurant celebrating their one-year anniversary of being in Berlin, therefore they had a special offer of all pasta dishes being 5€ for the whole week. Since I just started getting hungry and I´m broke, this was perfect timing.

I headed in, ordered Tagliatelle Arrabiata and started reading while waiting for the food. Is there a better feeling than reading while waiting for your food to come? I don´t think so. The pasta was made fresh and the tomatoes in the sauce tasted sunny and happy - I think those were very happy tomatoes full of sunlight.

Afterwards, I started craving some time in nature, I love the city a lot but also need my time in nature, so I went over to my favorite park - I used to live in walking distance to that park and went there every day until I moved to another district. I really really love that park, it´s my favorite place in all of Berlin, and thinking about it now, I would actually love to move back to that district just so I could spend all my free time in said park.

The park has a lake, so I sat down by the water to sunbathe and watch the ducks. (Underrated activity. My head feels calmer and I smile instantly.) Honestly, I love watching ducks. It sounds dumb, but it’s weirdly therapeutic. I highly recommend watching ducks in your local park.

After enough duck watching, I continued reading, although I’m still not sure how I feel about the book. It’s not boring, but I’m not particularly intrigued by what happens next, either. I’m about 120 pages in, so we’ll see.

I spent hours reading in the sun, completely undisturbed. Every now and then I’d take a little break, look out at the lake, daydream for a while, watch the ducks, and then go back to my book.

Nothing particularly exciting was happening, and it was perfect.

Now I’m sitting here, cuddled up under a blanket on my couch, drinking ginger tea and writing this with a heart full of gratitude. I also cooked myself a really nice pasta dish (yes, it’s totally okay to eat pasta twice a day if you feel like it) — spaghetti with a vegan creamy mushroom and onion sauce that I started craving on my way home.

Today might not have been the most thrilling, adventurous day, but it was a day much needed for me - time spent intentionally with myself, doing all the things I love doing with no responsibilities.

I think I’ll end the day by finally watching the video essay I started this morning. One of my favorite bands (Linkin Park) also uploaded a new tour vlog, so I guess I know what the rest of my evening will look like.

Love, Lou

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October six