July slipped by (I think I say that every month.)

The past months have been quite intense. It sounds cliché to be working on oneself after a breakup, but I slowly feel like I´m earning some fruits of the seeds I´ve planted over the past months. I´m by far nowhere I wanna be, but I´m slowly celebrating little wins, and I have all the time in the world to heal.

In July I got to see two bands live, The Cure (a dream came true!) and Die Toten Hosen, which is a band that´s deeply tied to my childhood and has always been a big part of my life. For said concert, my dad and my sister came to visit me in Berlin, we ate lots of ice cream and burgers and hung out in parks. I´m always ecstatic when people I love come and visit me in Berlin, it´s my favorite thing ever.

Besides that, I was working quite a lot, I started working for my favorite disco as a side job which is like a full circle moment. It´s a job that brings me a lot of joy (unlike my main job) and I´m grateful that randomly leaving my phone number at the bar in case they would be hiring turned out to be a good idea. I keep thinking about how strange it is that something as insignificant as leaving a phone number somewhere can quietly change the shape of my life months later.

As I´m writing this, I´m currently on vacation in my hometown, we celebrated my Mum´s 60th birthday and I´ll stay here for a few more days before going back to Berlin on August first.

I read more than I did the months before, but I didn´t watch any movies. The only thing I watched was a Netflix documentary called “Skywalkers: A Love Story” after the proposal of Russian couple Angela and Ivan on the Empire State building went through the media, which made me go down a little rabbit hole of them and their story.

Anyways, here are some things I read, consumed and obsessed over in July.

I read two books this month that equally broadened my horizon – the first one being A hymn to life by Gisele Pelicot and the other one Der Osten: eine westdeutsche Erfindung (which translates to: The East: A West German invention) by Dirk Oschmann.

A hymn to life is Gisele Pelicot´s life story, she covers everything from her childhood, marriage, family to how her life got flipped upside down after her husband was arrested.

I´m not going to go into detail about what happened to her as it´s a very sensitive topic, I´m sure most people are familiar with her case, if not, a quick google will do.

I remember the time when her trial was going through the media, being invested in her story but also left with many questions. Her biography answers a lot of said questions I had, and more than once I was astonished and inspired by her courage, her strength and her way of viewing life.

It was definitely a heavy read, I read it when I was on vacation in my hometown, sitting outside on our terrace sunbathing while my mum kept coming up to me cracking the most random jokes – usually, I would´ve appreciated that, but during a book like this, I started yelling at her. Wasn´t my best response, obviously, looking back the mature way to react would´ve been a quick briefing about the book and its sensitive topic, but we live and we learn, I guess.

As someone who, to a certain extent, can relate to Gisele and her story, this was both comforting and disturbing at the same time – especially the last part of the book dealing with the trial, and the public´s response which felt very dystopian to read.

It baffles me that even in this time, there are still so many people out there being in defense all the people that assaulted her, my biggest surprise was that even women (!) were in support of the offenders.

The second book was a recommendation by my ex, who read this while we were still in a relationship. It´s in German, and deals with the perception of society of the East in the West of Germany, and the aftermath of the Wall coming down in 1989, when the East joined the West and Germany was “united”. But things on paper really differ from reality, and even today, the East is very much discriminated by the West.

This was such an interesting perspective that I never even thought about - coming from someone who grew up in the West, with all its privileges. It definitely broadened my horizon, and it left me with quite a lot of food for thought that I keep coming back to.

I´m not quite sure if this is available in English as well, ✶ I just checked, there is no offical translation as of now (August 2026) but I highly recommend it if you´re able to read German.

The Cure came to Berlin and I got to see them!

I saw Robert Smith with my own eyes, are you kidding me???

The thing I will say now doesn´t really make any sense at all but I was talking to my flatmate the other day about the fact that Robert Smith doesn´t feel like a real person to me. I wouldn´t be surprised if one day there would be a headline that Robert Smith isn´t real.

I know this sounds very stupid, but to me, he feels like such a mystic creature that him not even being real feels like a possibility. I know, I know, it doesn´t make any sense at all.

Anyways, I got to see him and can confirm he is real ✶ I wasn´t sure up until two seconds before he entered the stage. He was adorable and all I wanted to do was to hug him.

Singing my heart out, especially to A Forest and Pictures of you will forever be a core memory. Sharing this with my dad was extra special (we have a relationship that´s a little difficult sometimes, but we´re working on it). Originally, I bought the tickets together with my ex, but I´m happy my dad joined me instead, and we got to spend some quality time.

📸

I was slightly sad they didn´t play Lovecats as it´s another favorite of mine and checking the setlist of the other two following Berlin concerts, they played it the other days, but it´s okay – the setlist was still great.

Anyways, I got carried away a little.

Because of said concert, The Cure was on repeat for me this month, especially Disintegration, which is my favorite Cure album.

It´s an album that´s very much connected to my ex, which brought up a lot of heartbreak again, and led to me sitting on my couch crying my eyes out more than once - honestly, Disintegration is just the perfect soundtrack for that. But it´s okay, I will heal and I will find my happiness again.

For me, Disintegration will always be one of my favorite albums of all time, and it´s what was on repeat all July. Another Cure song that I loved listening to is Lovecats as it puts me in a good mood immediately and is perfect to return reality after a Disintegration crying session.

Making Hummus

This has been my obsession in July. Making food from scratch feels very much like Nara Smith, in a tradwife way but as a currently single bisexual I couldn´t be further away from the first association of making food from scratch.

It´s so easy, so I felt like sharing the recipe just in case someone wants to follow in my footsteps and obsess over making hummus.

a can of chickpeas
three tablespoons Tahin
one or two cloves of garlic
lemon juice
olive oil
Cumin, Salt, Pepper

Put it all in a blender, mix and that´s literally it.

I´ve been eating it on bread, with veggies (great dip for cucumber or paprika) or sometimes straight from the Blender without anything else.

Other things I consumed online that inspired me

Taboo off the Bus:

I love Zara´s podcast, it´s my favorite podcast out there, every time she posts a new long form episode, I celebrate it by making some good food or a cup of tea, creating a cozy atmosphere in my room (I´ll never stop loving my salt lamp that I got for Christmas last year) and then tuning in.

Her takes are always so good and every episode is well researched, I´m not the biggest fan of podcasts in general, but I´m always looking forward to hers, and mostly leave feeling inspired.

This month´episode was on Meta glasses (a very concerning development of society) so this was a very good listen – highly recommend. I also had a conversation with my Mum´s new partner the other day about AI and Meta glasses, and noticed how some of the things I´ve said were tied back to Zara´s takes in this episode, and some older episodes that I´ve listened to as well.

Some good substacks I´ve saved:

How to stop doom-scrolling and start joy-scrolling instead by Caitlin Morgan

Talks about digital detox, doomscrolling and finding balance in the middle of it.

https://subst ack.com/home/post/p-192168166

10 uses for a pocket notebook to keep you off your phone by Amy Catriona

Love love love a pocket notebook, I used to have one last year, but never got a new one after finishing it. Really need to get a new one, had such a positive impact on my life - having an alternative to my phone when I was in between appointments, such as waiting for the bus, on the train to work, waiting somewhere for something, …

https://sub stack.com/home/post/p-198049149

A mini guide for ‘conscious’ alcohol consumption by Unravelling

As someone who has been sober for almost three years after years of having a quite messy relationship with alcohol, I think this was such a good take about mindful alcohol consumption.

https://substack.com/@unravelling333/note/c-285264369?r=5jt820

Your Cycle Gives You Superpowers. We're Just Not Taught How To Unlock Them Anymore. (A Guide) by Valerie Ribon

There are so many articles out there on cycle syncing and the menstrual cycle in general, but I very much enjoyed Valerie´s take.

https://substack.com/home/post/p-200531879

…and a few things I pinned on Pinterest:

Enjoy clicking your way through my recent pins, you can also click on the picture to see the whole post (I have no fucking idea how to make it less cropped, I tried but eventually gave up.)